Although I agree with the majority of Goffman's comments, I found his remarks that the deceased "must stay in character as someone who is in a deep sleep" to be a bit offensive. Yes, the deceased is the main focus of the service, but I think that saying that he is simply sleeping is insensitive and takes the metaphor too far. Goffman must remember that in the end he is in fact writing about real people.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Funeral
In his passage regarding funerals, I believe that Goffman is right on point in his writing. If you look at it from a literal point of view, a funeral consists of a group of people mourning the death of a loved one. All of the attention is focused on the deceased, so he is technically "the center of the show." As Goffman writes, the people attending are full of grief, which is also one hundred percent correct. However, I believe this is because of the pressures of the social norms. It would be weird and considered disrespectful to see an individual cracking jokes, shouting, and wearing bright colors while at a funeral. Rules of funeral etiquette include wearing darker clothes and remaining somber. Because of this expected behavior, I believe that people feel forced to act a certain way while attending a funeral. For example, my aunt died when I was eleven, and even though I was fine throughout the service, I started to cry when my mom did. I remember thinking that if a grown woman who was much stronger than me was crying, I should definitely be crying too. Even though I was only a kid, I believe the same standard holds true for adults- nobody wants to be the only one not crying.
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Like I said in my blog post, I completely agree that funerals are largely a performance. I like what you said about the attention being focused on the deceased because afterall they are "the center of the show."
ReplyDeleteOne thing I slightly disagree with though is that I don't feel that people always feel forced to act a certain way at a funeral. I think sometimes what you were saying is the case, but when I was at my step-grandfather's funeral I had a difference experience. I wasn't super close to my step-grandfather so I didn't expect to cry and I actually didn't want to cry because people knew I wasn't really close to him so I didn't want people to think I was putting on a show -- which has some qualities Goffman talked about in itself.
I did end up crying, but it was because of the emotion I saw in the look on his widdowed wife's face. Although it seems I had more of an experience opposite to yours, I find it interesting that both of our behaviors were based on what we thought other people's projections on our behavior were.